Is Britain Ruled by a Secret Pig-Fucking Cabal?

It's no secret that young men, from the age of about 12 until their final slump into total impotence, will try to put their dicks in just about anything. I have vivid memories of a year 7 school friend trying, with all seriousness, to fuck an injection-moulded plastic chair. Over the centuries, it's almost a certainty that more than a few dead pig's heads have been subjected to this kind of erotic attention.